Welcome to Fort Kickass

At last - a project I didn't have to do!

Sadly, we said goodbye to the house with the TARDIS-blue door and the repainted kitchen and converted closet-desk and... *sigh*  There was a lot invested there in addition to three years of memories, but for various reasons, we decided to downsize.

Meet various reasons.

Parker was joined by brother Archer mid-June! In anticipation of our new arrival, I determined we should make our lives as simple as possible, by first making things as difficult as possible, lol.  Last year we began our house-hunting, and located a house with 1000 square feet less than our mid-80s rental, for purchase.

Our new house!

I'll try to reign in the excitement and spare you the frustration we went through in trying to secure this house.  Just know we are all moved in and happily settled, caring for our boys and pets in this lovely historic dwelling.

The house was originally built in 1935 in the mission revival style common to the area of town called Ortega.  What you can't see here is the abundance of stores and stuff within walking distance - Parker catches the bus on the corner that I can see from our porch, and we have a gas station, grocery store, dollar store, Dunkin Donuts, ABC (hey, it's important), game store (for reasons) and elementary school less than a 2 minute walk from our front door.

In addition to the great neighborhood, the house itself has so much character!  Original hardwood floors revitalized to their former glory, a non cookie-cutter layout, and enough updates and upgrades to bring it current without losing it's charm.  Here's some before & afters...

Front Before: Drab and in need of some color.

After - painted doors and overhangs really makes the front pop.

Main room before: gotta love that mustard yellow - yuck!

Main room after - white door and trimmed fireplace with versatile gray paint and a new ceiling fan.

Main room before - who thought this was a good color? Baby poop yellow?

Main room after - looking towards the sunroom, one of my favorite parts about this house!

Kitchen before - Nothing matches! Is that red or orange or rorange?  So glad I never saw it like this in person.

After = WOW.  Sleek dishwasher repositioned next to a stainless sink, marble countertops, travertine back splash and dark wood cabinetry.

Yeesh.  Dated white appliances clashing with oak cabinets and very 80s countertops.  And that light tile with dark grout - whoa.

And again - WOW.  Sleek, chic and unique, without compromising the overall feel of the house.

Another of my favorites - an honest to goodness butler pantry between the kitchen & dining room.  Classy.

Dining room before - um, can you pick a color? And those shutters aren't doing any favors, either.

Dining room after - not a great pic, but trust me - it's a zillion times better.  New chandelier and one color throughout.

This bedroom became Parker's room - not much to redo, but the improvements were welcomed.

New ceiling fan/light, removed dark shutters and fresh coat of paint - fantastic.

Upstairs Hallway Before - I don't have an after, but they tore our that awkward light fixture and painted the back of the built in bookcases white - looks 1000% better.

This is our sunroom with French doors leading to our front patio. Atop the sunroom is a balcony right outside our master bedroom, where I can reach over and snag grapefruit from the tree in our backyard.

Our sunroom has become sanctuary for our pets food, water and litter boxes. Unfortunately, our dogs are touched in the head and like to bark at any and everything that moves past the windows, including a one-eyed cat that's made our porch his summer home.  I snagged these window clings at Walmart for about $25 per roll - they're not stickers, they go up with water and get "squeegeed" onto the glass.  Solved our problem and they look gorgeous to boot!

The house itself is pretty much set up and painted the way I like it - my next projects will likely be redoing our dining room set and an IKEA trip for new living room furniture (once our bank account replenishes itself following my maternity leave).

Trading Spaces

As I've mentioned before, our house came with closets galore.  Parker has TWO of these full size closets in his room, and only ONE was being used for clothes.  The other was overrun with lego bins and stuffed animals (which I swear he will end up bringing to college because he continues to accumulate them).

I already started hacking away before I remembered to take pictures. Oops.

I decided to tear the slatted wooden doors off this one (gotta love that builder-grade oak again) and transform this closet into a workstation for my soon-to-be middle schooler.  His room was overtaken by his large loft bed and bookshelf, and since this entire wall was closets, there wasn't much room for a desk are.  Bingo.

Both closets have a shelf about 6 feet up with a hanging metal bar beneath.  Functional, yes, but although they were equipped with lights, little was able to filter down to serve any real purpose.  First thing I did was remove the upper shelf and bar.

A bit of demo is always fun.

After the bar and shelf came down, I had to pry the wood supports off the wall.  In hindsight, I should have just left it up and painted over it - I dented the drywall with the hammer.  Whoops.

I let Parker pick out the colors for his room - a neon green for the closets and a bright blue for the rest of the room.  Off to painting!

Blurry, with a chair. Because I'm short, shut up.

It looks speckled in the picture above, but I promise I did more coats and fixed that.  Those white spots are my terrible attempt at drywall patching.

Instead of buying a desk and cramming it in there, I took the shelf I previously removed, sanded down the rough edges, and replaced it on the existing midway supports.  Total cost = zero dollars, just a little elbow grease and some nails.

From Desk Til Dawn

I wasn't going to use the bar, but seeing as the desk was so long, it required more support than the side rails.  Repurpose item #2 - the bar and it's supports served to hang cords wired for Parker's computer and eventually wall mounted television.

Saddle on up to the bar.  Top Shelf.

The shelf needed some finishing, so I painted it with the leftover white paint from the kitchen trim.  Oh, and that TRON poster nicely hid the drywall boo-boo until we got a wall mount for his 32" tv.

End of Line. Almost.

Drilled a few holes in the back to allow for computer cords and voila - a fun and functional workspace for a growing boy that took up ZERO floorspace.  All for the cost of some paint and invested time.

Not sure if fun or functional or both...

Taking the ring to Mordor

This summer I began a massive makeover of our kitchen.  I'm firmly rooted in camp "paint makes everything better", and since I couldn't exactly demolish cabinets in our rental, I decided to do what I do best - make it a different color.  I vastly underestimated just how long this would take me.  This was my reaction by the time I completed the months-long and oft interrupted project:

That's enough, Daniel Radcliffe.

To start, our house was built mid 80s using builder-grade oak and builder-grade brass fixtures and builder-grade BLAH.  Seriously, 80s to late 90s home builders had ZERO creativity and bought their home furnishings at Dated and Faded Surplus.  If there's one era I abhor in home design and decor, this would be it.  All we were missing was a floral couch, some dusty silk flowers and paintings of geese and I'd feel I was back in Jersey.  *shudder*

"What do you mean not everyone likes wood on wood trimmed in wood?"

This was our kitchen.  Good bones and TONS of counter space, for which I was grateful, but it just felt so... blech.  Off-white laminate tops that didn't do anything for the off-white walls and the off-white porcelain sink, on top of the honey oak cabinets and trim (which was around every door and on the baseboards and crown moulding).  New black appliances seemed out of place against the very dated fixtures, so something had to be done.

First, I researched the best way to go about painting the counters.  Fortunately, Rustoleum makes a very smelly oil-based paint specifically for countertops.  I decided white cabinets with a gray counter would bring everything up to date, and still accent the appliances (and beautiful wood flooring) nicely.

Pots and pans and cups better scurry...

The countertop paint was very oily and tempermental.  Requiring several coats and days between application, it made trying to use the kitchen for cooking challenging.  And despite that blue painters tape I still got it everywhere.  Sigh.

Same cabinet with the door reattached.

Did I mention I had to remove every drawer and door in our massive eat-in kitchen? A total of 27 doors (yes, an odd number) and 10 drawers.  Oh, and I had to refinish the hinges on all the doors too, because builder-grade brass.  Again, Rustoleum to the rescue with it's dark bronze flecked spray paint.  Also came in handy for bringing the builder-grade brass chandelier up to date.

Worth it in the end.

Once the cabinets were done, I moved onto the massive expanse of wall space and trim.  "But Joy," you're saying, "there's only that tiny space above and between the counters and cabinets!"  Oh, how little you have learned...

Yeah.  THAT wall space.  And trim, top and bottom.  I went with a lighter gray with hints of soft blue to brighten the room but bring it down to a "cool" color.  The oak cabinets against the floor and oak floor boards made the room seem dark and closed in - not to mention the previously dark oak crown moulding, which framed the whole space in a depressing manor.

"Hi, I'm your kitchen and I'll be the bane of your existence for the next few weeks."

Dat window box, doh...

Ooh, shiny.

 And the before/after comparison.  I'm still super proud of this:

From drab to fab without demolition!

I love how it all came together.  The hardwood floors are gorgeous but were drowned out in the sea of honey oak cabinets.  Now they serve as a warm backdrop for the cool comfort of the kitchen counters and cabinets.  Next step is getting knobs for the drawers and doors, and replacing the frilly-lamped ceiling fan, but I'm pleased with it for now.

Time and Realtive Doors in Spaces

If you follow my other blog or my work on Unreality, you already know about our break-in.  Let me splain - no, there is too much, lemme sum up.  Matt and I were both sick for a week, and the day we returned to work, our house was robbed. You can read about our exploits in recovering some of our pilfered belongings here, but there was more to be done than simply replacing electronics.

When the punk ass bitches fine upstanding gentlemen kicked in our door, they left a gaping hole in the drywall from the doorknob and tore the damn thing off the frame.  The door was locked, but that made no difference to their size 13 shit-kickers.

Our front door before. Blah, but intact.

See that pretty mostly glass door?  Yeah, the glass held, the frame didn't.  It was toast.  Our landlord and neighbor patched it up with plywood for the night and the next day replaced it with this sturdier, yet non-matching, equivalent.

Look at this door. Isn't it neat. It doesn't match and it isn't complete.

Hey, I know beggars can't be choosers.  And it didn't bother me (too much).  Until about 6 months had passed and my OCD and nesting tendencies got the better of me - I had to do something about it.  But painting the door wasn't going to be enough.  I didn't want to simply match it to the drab brown sidelights again.  Pinterest and Tardis blue to the rescue.

Project start - supplies at the ready.

I began by painting the trim and sidelights an eggshell white.  It was an immediate improvement, but I wasn't about to stop there.  Oh, and it took 80 gajillion coats to cover up the poop brown.  It's an actual equation.  If z + y = x , where poop brown = z and white paint = y, solve for x. (Hint - it's 80 gajillion).

A little bit further now...

I had a hard time deciding between a red or blue front door.  Ultimately blue won out due to the reddish tiles on the front stoop and my attempt to not clash.  I didn't even realize it resembled a police box until someone pointed it out, but all the more reason to love it.

It's bigger on the inside.

Sexy.

 It gives me something I'm happy to come home to every day. And no, a sonic screwdriver won't work on it - it's made of wood.

Hello, Sweetie.

Slippery When Wet

I love my landlords.  They are super easy-going and accommodating.  I know this is a rare occurrence.  They allow us to paint and make minor cosmetic renovations to the house we have been in for a year and a half, and plan on buying.  I decided something needed to be done with the hall bathroom...

The house is actually the newest on the block in a neighborhood of 1940s/1950s ranch style homes.  Being built in the mid-80s gave this home many advantages, like huge ample closets and a two car garage (some homes don't even have ONE).  But it's very dated.  There are some rooms in which the honey oak molding looks okay, and others (like the bathroom) where it just looks dingy and blah.  Seriously, I want to find the person who determined oak wood and brass fixtures belonged in EVERY room - and stab them in the face.

The first thing I needed to do was the FLOOR:

OMG, the FLOOR. Uck.

I don't know if it originally started out white or the lovely faded yellow laminate color it ended up, but it had that awful combination of country kitsch and pastels that made me want to vomit.

Ew. I mean, can you even SEE the little flowers?

Oh there they are, next to mystery stain.

The only good thing about this floor is that it was laid flat and already had somewhat of a grid on it, for me to do this...

 

Yes, that is vinyl peel & stick tile.  Hard to believe but it looks pretty good.  $20/box for 30 tiles (plus bribing my husband with a trip to the video game store to go back to Lowes and get me another box when I realized I didn't have enough for the trim pieces.)

And for the side by side...

Next on the agenda for the bathroom upgrade is a new faucet and light fixture to replace the brass (ugh) tacky ones!  And new stain on the cabinets to get rid of the builder-grade oak.  At least now I'm not ashamed to have guests use my lavatory!

***Update - other repairs never happened.  We moved.  *sigh*  Oh well, at least I improved the floor for the next tenants.

Sit Yo Ass Down...

Lots has happened in the past YEAR - namely that I have neglected to post ANYTHING here.

Well, we (Joy & Matt) are expecting our first child together, and the nesting bug waited until week 19 to kick in full swing.  My husband now finds himself making midnight WalMart runs for paintbrushes and drop cloths, as I spin through the house in a whirlwind of projects and crafts.

The baby's room is on hold until we get the old game room furniture out of there and find out what gender we're expecting, but I can't take staring at blank walls anymore.  Here's a few projects I've done in the past few months...

SOFA:

Mad Men style. Word.

Ah, the gold couch - this thing has probably seen more seamen than the whole of the US Navy, and has been reupholstered numerous times.  When I started ripping off the older-than-me crushed gold velvet, I found a surprise - a fairly nice burlap woven underlayer:

 No, not this - this is the underside, which was already started by my cats.  Thanks, assholes.

 See?  1979 was the last time it was RE-upholstered.  Yikes.

Sweeney cat claims the couch for England and the queen.

I left the burlap, and got new foam to replace the sagging, stained, wouldn't-sit-on-it-bare-assed cushions:

These things - which make great dog beds, but not fit for human use...

I covered the foam with a soft canvas dropcloth (cheaper than custom fabric and actually very soft) and even had enough left to make back cushions, too, and the cats love it.  Again, assholes.

The finished project - the cushions I fashioned from leftover fabric from my dining room chairs which is fitting since these rooms kind of blend together.  What you can't see here is that the drop cloth actually extends along the sides and back of the entire sofa - also the chaise on the opposite side of the room. Its a temporary fix until we can afford real furniture like big kids, but I'm happy with the earthy tone it brings to the living room. :)

Total Cost - Grrrrr, the foam.  If you're going to go this route, get as many coupons as you can - sh*t's expensive.  All in all, it was about $300 for the foam, cushions, staples, and drop cloths.


MAILBOX:

This is our wall-mounted mailbox - AFTER I started cleaning it - it was cobweb/dead bug central before I took it off the wall.  One of those frequently overlooked accent pieces that finally just frustrated me to the point of action.

I really liked the medallion on the front and wanted to keep it a central focus.  I have no idea what color it was supposed to be (gold? bronze?).

Black like my soul. Lol, kisses.

 After thoroughly de-bugging and de-webbing it, I sprayed the whole thing black again, with some spray I happened to have lying around...

With a corner/edger, I ran over the medallion with this bright teal/green I also had on hand for some random reason.  Total cost - $0!  And it looks a hundred times better. :)

I'll trade ya!

Since the boy is getting bigger, he needed (read: WANTED) a loft bed.  Luckily I had a friend seeking to get rid of her tweenage daughter's, all for the low low price of bartered services and trade!  Mainly, Parker's old bed frame and a headboard.  The headboard I got from a coworker's daughter for $25, very "princessy" and plain white, but I knew I could whip it into shape and make it chic for an older girl.

Head BORED.

Painting en progress - colors picked out by recipient. :)

Yes, I did fill in all those little white spots, I just didn't get a picture of it.

She was happy with the finished product, and Parker was pleased with his loft bed.  Huzzah for paint to the rescue again!  (Srsly, 4 realz, I would paint all the things if they'd let me)