Time and Realtive Doors in Spaces

If you follow my other blog or my work on Unreality, you already know about our break-in.  Let me splain - no, there is too much, lemme sum up.  Matt and I were both sick for a week, and the day we returned to work, our house was robbed. You can read about our exploits in recovering some of our pilfered belongings here, but there was more to be done than simply replacing electronics.

When the punk ass bitches fine upstanding gentlemen kicked in our door, they left a gaping hole in the drywall from the doorknob and tore the damn thing off the frame.  The door was locked, but that made no difference to their size 13 shit-kickers.

Our front door before. Blah, but intact.

See that pretty mostly glass door?  Yeah, the glass held, the frame didn't.  It was toast.  Our landlord and neighbor patched it up with plywood for the night and the next day replaced it with this sturdier, yet non-matching, equivalent.

Look at this door. Isn't it neat. It doesn't match and it isn't complete.

Hey, I know beggars can't be choosers.  And it didn't bother me (too much).  Until about 6 months had passed and my OCD and nesting tendencies got the better of me - I had to do something about it.  But painting the door wasn't going to be enough.  I didn't want to simply match it to the drab brown sidelights again.  Pinterest and Tardis blue to the rescue.

Project start - supplies at the ready.

I began by painting the trim and sidelights an eggshell white.  It was an immediate improvement, but I wasn't about to stop there.  Oh, and it took 80 gajillion coats to cover up the poop brown.  It's an actual equation.  If z + y = x , where poop brown = z and white paint = y, solve for x. (Hint - it's 80 gajillion).

A little bit further now...

I had a hard time deciding between a red or blue front door.  Ultimately blue won out due to the reddish tiles on the front stoop and my attempt to not clash.  I didn't even realize it resembled a police box until someone pointed it out, but all the more reason to love it.

It's bigger on the inside.

Sexy.

 It gives me something I'm happy to come home to every day. And no, a sonic screwdriver won't work on it - it's made of wood.

Hello, Sweetie.

Slippery When Wet

I love my landlords.  They are super easy-going and accommodating.  I know this is a rare occurrence.  They allow us to paint and make minor cosmetic renovations to the house we have been in for a year and a half, and plan on buying.  I decided something needed to be done with the hall bathroom...

The house is actually the newest on the block in a neighborhood of 1940s/1950s ranch style homes.  Being built in the mid-80s gave this home many advantages, like huge ample closets and a two car garage (some homes don't even have ONE).  But it's very dated.  There are some rooms in which the honey oak molding looks okay, and others (like the bathroom) where it just looks dingy and blah.  Seriously, I want to find the person who determined oak wood and brass fixtures belonged in EVERY room - and stab them in the face.

The first thing I needed to do was the FLOOR:

OMG, the FLOOR. Uck.

I don't know if it originally started out white or the lovely faded yellow laminate color it ended up, but it had that awful combination of country kitsch and pastels that made me want to vomit.

Ew. I mean, can you even SEE the little flowers?

Oh there they are, next to mystery stain.

The only good thing about this floor is that it was laid flat and already had somewhat of a grid on it, for me to do this...

 

Yes, that is vinyl peel & stick tile.  Hard to believe but it looks pretty good.  $20/box for 30 tiles (plus bribing my husband with a trip to the video game store to go back to Lowes and get me another box when I realized I didn't have enough for the trim pieces.)

And for the side by side...

Next on the agenda for the bathroom upgrade is a new faucet and light fixture to replace the brass (ugh) tacky ones!  And new stain on the cabinets to get rid of the builder-grade oak.  At least now I'm not ashamed to have guests use my lavatory!

***Update - other repairs never happened.  We moved.  *sigh*  Oh well, at least I improved the floor for the next tenants.

Sit Yo Ass Down...

Lots has happened in the past YEAR - namely that I have neglected to post ANYTHING here.

Well, we (Joy & Matt) are expecting our first child together, and the nesting bug waited until week 19 to kick in full swing.  My husband now finds himself making midnight WalMart runs for paintbrushes and drop cloths, as I spin through the house in a whirlwind of projects and crafts.

The baby's room is on hold until we get the old game room furniture out of there and find out what gender we're expecting, but I can't take staring at blank walls anymore.  Here's a few projects I've done in the past few months...

SOFA:

Mad Men style. Word.

Ah, the gold couch - this thing has probably seen more seamen than the whole of the US Navy, and has been reupholstered numerous times.  When I started ripping off the older-than-me crushed gold velvet, I found a surprise - a fairly nice burlap woven underlayer:

 No, not this - this is the underside, which was already started by my cats.  Thanks, assholes.

 See?  1979 was the last time it was RE-upholstered.  Yikes.

Sweeney cat claims the couch for England and the queen.

I left the burlap, and got new foam to replace the sagging, stained, wouldn't-sit-on-it-bare-assed cushions:

These things - which make great dog beds, but not fit for human use...

I covered the foam with a soft canvas dropcloth (cheaper than custom fabric and actually very soft) and even had enough left to make back cushions, too, and the cats love it.  Again, assholes.

The finished project - the cushions I fashioned from leftover fabric from my dining room chairs which is fitting since these rooms kind of blend together.  What you can't see here is that the drop cloth actually extends along the sides and back of the entire sofa - also the chaise on the opposite side of the room. Its a temporary fix until we can afford real furniture like big kids, but I'm happy with the earthy tone it brings to the living room. :)

Total Cost - Grrrrr, the foam.  If you're going to go this route, get as many coupons as you can - sh*t's expensive.  All in all, it was about $300 for the foam, cushions, staples, and drop cloths.


MAILBOX:

This is our wall-mounted mailbox - AFTER I started cleaning it - it was cobweb/dead bug central before I took it off the wall.  One of those frequently overlooked accent pieces that finally just frustrated me to the point of action.

I really liked the medallion on the front and wanted to keep it a central focus.  I have no idea what color it was supposed to be (gold? bronze?).

Black like my soul. Lol, kisses.

 After thoroughly de-bugging and de-webbing it, I sprayed the whole thing black again, with some spray I happened to have lying around...

With a corner/edger, I ran over the medallion with this bright teal/green I also had on hand for some random reason.  Total cost - $0!  And it looks a hundred times better. :)

I'll trade ya!

Since the boy is getting bigger, he needed (read: WANTED) a loft bed.  Luckily I had a friend seeking to get rid of her tweenage daughter's, all for the low low price of bartered services and trade!  Mainly, Parker's old bed frame and a headboard.  The headboard I got from a coworker's daughter for $25, very "princessy" and plain white, but I knew I could whip it into shape and make it chic for an older girl.

Head BORED.

Painting en progress - colors picked out by recipient. :)

Yes, I did fill in all those little white spots, I just didn't get a picture of it.

She was happy with the finished product, and Parker was pleased with his loft bed.  Huzzah for paint to the rescue again!  (Srsly, 4 realz, I would paint all the things if they'd let me)

In The Not Too Distant Future...

The crew of the Satellite of Love (and it's puppeteer).

Since high school, I have been obsessed with MST3K.  For Halloween, I decided to finally buckle down and build my own Tom Servo, to go along with my Crow T. Robot costume.  I also harangued my husband and a friend into portraying Mike Nelson and Dr. Clayton Forrester, respectively.

Push the button, Frank.

Little did I realize what a massive undertaking this would be, mainly because the parts are hard to come by nowadays.  Instead of dropping a cool bill and a half on a Tom Servo kit like this one, I spent weeks stalking eBay in search of obscure "lamps" (flashlights) that apparently only exist in Australia.

The pieces - that's a barrel of monkeys barrel, a CD spinner, plastic bowl, PVC pipe, and a cut up Mr. McFarty or whoever he was.  The slinky arms and plastic tubing were really what I was after.

After sourcing the materials, I followed this online tutorial in assembling a working replica.  Yes, the head moves, the mouth opens and the arms flail about as if independent from his robot body.

Becoming Servo.

I ended up ordering the head piece and the vacuum-formed shoulders and skirt decorations online, since they proved to be the most difficult to obtain.  The shoulders were from the same headlamp that makes up Gypsy's eye, and which, again, can only be found online in hardware stores in Sydney or Melbourne.  Luckily, the kind man I found online who sourced out Servo parts had molds and forms for all of the pieces.  The black decorations on the skirt were molds from a train-set no longer in production, and cost I think $6 for all 6 (he threw in some extras since I bought a bunch).  The head piece came fully assembled - I just needed to match the paint for the body, which I found at a local hobby store.

My messy garage.  You can't work without Dr. Pepper.  See Tom's head chilling up on the shelf?

Rare pic of me working. I think I was using rubber cement in my closed garage here, hence the mask.

Getting there - sans hands, hoverskirt and decorative pieces.

Aside from the custom pieces and the head setup, the rest was fairly easy to come by. I had a few plastic bowls on hand, which was great cause I totally botched the first one. The plastic hands and slinky arms came from the pants-dropping doll (eBay purchase), the torso a barrel of monkeys (Parker appreciated playing with the monkeys), and the bowl skirt.  Some PVC insulation served as the skirt hem, and PVC pipe went through the body to turn the head which was mounted on the CD spinner.  The cord for the mouth was threaded through with a washer, allowing control of the mouth.  I found a toy car engine randomly in Toys R Us for about $3.  Total cost came in around $60, including custom ordered pieces.

Love the seamless paint match! Testors FTW!

Servo was a HUGE hit out on the town.  I brought him to work, but no one knew who he was.  Philistines.

Mike, Servo and Amy Winehouse in the background.

Servo does not appreciate being licked, Steve Jobs.

Majestic. As. F*ck.

Servo gets the ladies...

An assortment of characters opting for a pic with the Misties.

A challenger appears!

Every once in a while, an opportunity presents itself when I'm between projects.  I wasn't looking for anything in particular, but this little beauty stuck out on the drive home.

Oh, hai.

This poor dresser was discarded on the side of the road in anticipation of trash day.  Although it was missing the bottom three drawers, an idea came to mind that wouldn't require them.  I called the husband and we hauled it on home.

This dingy, dirty, drawerless dresser had seen better days cosmetically, but had decent bones and a ton of personality in the decorative trim and scrolled front.

Real dressers have curves!

She's got legs... she knows how to reuse them.

Ooh, what have we here?

I was relieved to find I could unscrew the handles in order to paint the remaining drawer, and even more pleased to discover a beautiful patina finish underneath the gooped-on paint.  Who covers up this kind of hardware??

Bad pic, but these are a pretty greenish patina!

After a thorough cleaning and a few coats of an off-white spray paint, I had a new entertainment unit for the basement!  The missing drawers left room for electronics, and the fiber-board backing was easy to drill through for cords and such.

Small, medium and large.

That's how you celebrate a completed project - with a LOtR marathon.

Dining In The Deep End

CHANDELIER

Recently, we moved into a lovely new(er) home, embarking on a weekend moving endeavor like no other. (My friend Jen can attest to this - at one point the television said something and I went to go answer the door - I was delirious). After weeks of relocating, unpacking and cleaning, I was faced with a new dilemma... most of my old stuff didn't "go" with my new house. What's a girl to do???

Fortunately, there's websites like Design Sponge and Apartment Therapy, and super creative people like Jen to help me envision new ways of using my old furniture & decor.

I wish I had a before picture, but alas, none exist- my chandelier was completely black. Black bars, black chain, black shades, etc. Looked very chic next to the stark whiteness of my old, 1942 cottage home, but in our newer, brighter, warmer colored dining room, I needed something that would mesh with the cream colored walls and honey oak trim.

Voila! New shades (actually picked out by my husband) for $2 per shade at Stein Mart, and some spray paint ($3) was all it took, plus a cord/chain hiding scrunch ($10- Stein Mart). Again, $15 makes it look like an entirely new piece.


Can you imagine this thing completely black? Ugly chain exposed, no life at all (hey, it was $10 at a Sticks N Stuff store closing, I snatched it!)


CHAIRS

Since obtaining the new dining room table, and inheriting two chairs with it, I felt the need to recover them as well. The table was $75, but technically, the chairs were free.

Here's the Before...

Not terrible, but very worn & dark.

After a few coast of spray paint ($6 for 2 cans) and fabric I found on a HUGE roll at the City Rescue Mission thrift store (a 60K square foot mecca of thrift and materials - its probably my new favorite, and it's NEVER busy), the chairs were saved!

Brighter, happier, healthier...

...more productive, fitter....

FANCY.

And fancy meeting YOU here...

I love the cane back on these chairs, and am in the process of searching desperately for a set of 4 to coordinate (not match precisely). The fabric was a lucky find, and I have enough to cover the other chairs & possibly make a table runner/place settings. Love thrift stores!